Marriage Mentoring: Creating a Better Future for Couples

Marriage Mentoring: Creating a Better Future for Couples

Marriage Mentoring: Creating a Better Future for Couples Tan Kuan Hwee  |   3 mins read November 9, 2022 | 108 eye icon

The word mentoring in Greek is Mentōr which means to advise or train (usually someone younger or less experienced) to help them progress in their job. The scope of mentoring can involve the sharing of skills and experience, giving constructive and sound counsel to help an individual progress in their work, life, and ethics.

An individual's life can be influenced by many sources. It can stem from their parents' upbringing, their classmates, friends, colleagues, and bosses, along with different encounters and experiences they come across. Some of these influences can bring about positive character traits, while others can be detrimental and have a negative impact on their lives. This can become a chip off the old block that can be destructive if not properly identified and dealt with.

Besides being an entrepreneur, I am also a marriage mentor, working together with my wife Bridget, who applies the enrichment methodology to profile a couple’s marriage conditions. This profiling tool assesses both the husband and wife's characteristics and defines the couple's typology. Based on research, the Prepare/Enrich methodology classifies couple relationships into one of five common patterns: 

  • Vitalized couples are typically the most satisfied with their relationship, and skilled in communication and conflict resolution.
     
  • Harmonious couples also enjoy high levels of satisfaction in most areas of their relationship.
     
  • Conventional couples are often highly committed to one another, but not as skilled in communication or conflict resolution.
     
  • Conflicted couples have a lower level of satisfaction and often struggle with many areas of their relationship.
     
  • Devitalized couples have the lowest level of satisfaction and have growth areas in almost all aspects of their relationship.
     

With the right tool in hand, marriage mentors will be able to understand the couple’s profile, their strengths, and growth areas and help them build a better life together. This will foster stronger parent-child relationships, making parenting easier and less stressful as their children grow up in a secure and loving environment, knowing Dad loves Mom and Mom loves Dad.

There are many sources that claim the rising demographic in divorce rates, and this is a worrying trend in many societies and countries. In the course of my experience as a marriage mentor, I have come across marriages that are on the verge of divorce within 1 year of their marriage, while they should be celebrating their first-year wedding anniversary. However, they ended up divorcing, which, in the current worldview, is perfectly fine and acceptable. This mindset needs to change, as we do not get into a marriage with divorce in mind as the end game. We strongly encourage courting or dating couples to attend premarital preparation courses to understand each other better. With the Prepare/Enrich assessment tool, pre-married couples will better understand their strengths and growth areas and start to work on them before entering into married life together. The fulfilment and satisfaction of living together can be much more enjoyable, fostering strong family ties with true love, perseverance in good and tough times, and building a stronger family together.

I certainly hope this message will encourage fellow readers to consider seeking help if they are ever in a dire state in their marriage life. Do not delay, as letting this drag on will bring more stress and strain to the relationships.

Tan Kuan Hwee
CEO and Business Director
EBIZWORLD PTE LTD
Singapore
Global MBA
Batch 2022

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